The Year Of Creation

Today marks the two months countdown to my 36th Birthday and I am super excited about it! Those who know me intimately can tell you, that's something that they've rarely heard me say. Well, they better get their coins together now because I need gifts so I know its real! 

Earlier this year I got some words of wisdom via text from a really close friend of mine who happens to also be a powerful Astrologer, Energy Healer and Life Coach. From the moment I read her words, my life changed drastically.  For the sake of keeping my healing experiences sacred, I won't share verbatim what was said but I will say I learned through our conversation that 36 is The Year Of Creation! And that I had better get my house in order for the remainder of year 35 or I was going to be in BIG trouble! 

From that point forward, I started thinking about what I truly saw for my life. Not only in the near future but farther out. I have been a Mom and partner practically my entire adult life and although that was a conscious decision and my responsibility, I've sacrificed a great deal of my being along the way. 

Once I got an idea of how I wanted my life to look, I started thinking of ways to do the work and prioritize myself and my desires. From there, I slowly began to implement change which is not always easy. One super important element of change is that you have to stop catering to things and people in the same ways that you used to. Whether that's your children, spouse, friends, employer, or even social media. 

When it comes to the people closest in your life, I've found that they either fall in line or they fall off. Either way it's a win. It helps you to identify and weed out the supporters/reciprocators vs the takers.   

Luckily, my healer homegirl and my therapist warned me of all the possibilities when making such adjustments so I wasn't completely caught off guard. Suddenly, my new found confidence and better understanding of my self-worth became a threat to people who I expected to see it as complimentary to them or at the very least, hoped they'd be excited for me and cheer me on. There was a trickle effect that even with warning, I could’ve never quite prepared myself for. But the beauty of self work is, its not to make anyone comfortable except for you so I'm taking any losses along this journey with grace. Easy? No. But worth it.  

On the flip, there have been people who have supported me tremendously at various capacities. I think that the most valuable lesson that I've learned about support is to customize your expectations. There is no cookie cutter level of support. People show up as much as they can, when they can. You may have someone in your life who genuinely cares but they can only give you the 5% that they have to spare because their own self work is taking up what they might normally have to give. Or they may just simply only be willing to give what they give because they have very strict boundaries in place. Then you have those who may have room to give much more. 

We have to start giving people grace when it comes to wanting them to show up and fix us. Being able to recognize and take accountability for our own shit is the only real way we will get through it. In the end, we are responsible for how we want our lives to look. We write our story. 

I am so glad I got a head start and clear understanding of what year 35 meant and started the work well in advance of year 36. I’m on my way! 

I’m looking forward to seeing what my Year Of Creation has in store for me! 

Simply Johntae 

Nico Takes Chicago!

Nicolas is FINALLY moved into his dorm at The University of Chicago and I could not be more elated for him! He was accepted to the one and only school that he applied for, Early Decision so we have known where he was heading to college since December of last year. 

The University of Chicago is a Research University situated in the Hyde Park community on the Southside of Chicago. It is ranked 6th in the country overall, tied with Stanford University. As for rigor of education, The University of Chicago is second only to Massachusetts Institute of Technology also known as MIT. 

Nico considered and visited many other schools including HBCU’s, small liberal arts colleges and state schools. Ultimately choosing to attend a PWI which stands for a Predominantly White Institution. He felt as though the resources offered along with the fact that the University meets 100% of demonstrated financial need made it all worthwhile. Sure, he has some reservations, especially with the current racial climate of our country but with him  being so multifaceted, we are all very confident that he will thrive and not only get what is needed out of the experience but also contribute greatly to university.

Being a first generation college student seemed to put him at somewhat of advantage when it came to choosing which college to attend. He was able to choose what aligned with his goals and was not swayed by legacy input, or anything else that could have been a deciding factor. Above all though, I trusted him to know what he wanted to do and where he wanted to go and once he made that decision, I supported him until he got there. Little questions asked. 

With all the happenings of the world, the nine months wait to dorm move in has been like watching paint dry. When the pandemic first began looming, he came home early for Spring Break on March 15 oblivious to the fact that he would never walk into his current high school for classes again. Like many of you, we thought it would all boil over and he would finish his senior year with a bang. What a not so pleasant surprise when we learned that the year had abruptly ended. Everything that he had worked so hard for (or shall I say we because getting your child through 12 years of compulsory education takes a village) was no longer going to be celebrated in a traditional manner. Things such as Prom, Senior Ditch Day, Senior Class Trips, the celebratory party that his sister Kaelynn had been diligently planning for him, etc. were all snatched away. 

I quickly had to put on my Mommy Mode thinking cap to see what else we could do to make things as normal as possible. We had virtual graduation parties and did other cool things to make the moments count. Dorm move in day was the icing on the cake that had already been baked! 

Overall, I am extremely happy with how things turned out. His dorm design is swanky, fun and retro similar to his personality. And after getting him all settled in, I left Chicago confidently and knowing that I had given him all of the tools over the years to be and do whatever he dreams to. Because that's the job, right? 

I also came home with a new found hope for my own future. His bravery and resilience through all of this taught me a valuable lesson on life. Although he may not have gotten to this point in the way that he originally imagined he made it nonetheless. 

I'll be sure to keep you all updated over the next 4 years! 

Simply Johntae

Quarantine & Feel

So as you all know, I've been pulling out all of the stops when it comes to self quarantine. Making recipe after recipe and cocktail after cocktail. I've had so many people tell me that I should consider opening a restaurant or bar, submit my photos to magazines or blogs or at the very least be so generous to share my recipes and techniques.

But the honest truth is, I have no desire to do any of that. Hosting my self and my family on a more grand scale has been my solace. My one and only goal is to cope through the uncertainty of what we are currently dealing with in our country. Just like many of us, I had so many plans for 2020. And now, they have been disrupted by this pandemic.  My son is a senior in high school and he may not be able to celebrate traditionally. I was in the midst of making a career change that would have greatly shifted life as I know it and BOOM! That industry became one of the largest impacted industries. 

There are so many things that I feel I took for granted. And just like that they were taken away. I will say though, this time has allowed me to stop and smell the roses. I am realizing more and more everyday that a lot of the things I put on the forefront can honestly wait for later. I have also learned just how important it may be to learn some new things in my mid 30's. Like combing my hair. Yes people, that is not my specialty but it may be a necessary skill. I also recently bought a gel manicure curing light because my best friend sent me a picture of hers but I never bought any gel so my nails aren't done either. All of this has been a wake up call to say the least. 

I must say, I am a bit blown away at how so many things that weren't acceptable prior to the pandemic are miraculously acceptable. From employers who once said that certain jobs could not be done from home now allowing for a work life balance, compulsory school systems deciding that standardized testing can be skipped this year, to full blown church states who barely sell liquor on Sundays and after 9:00 pm now being fine with booze being delivered or picked up to go. Though these steps may be the exception, I believe they will alter life as we know it once the curve is flattened. 

Now don't get me wrong, things have been seemingly poppin' because I am naturally resourceful and know how to turn Sh!t to Sugar! My kids are spending quality time together which has been awesome being as Kaelynn was super apprehensive about losing her brother to college and him being too busy to spend time with her. 

So I plan to continue to utilize my therapist and therapy through hosting to help me through this tough time. And I will continue to hope that this will die down sooner than later. 

Stay Safe, 

Simply Johntae

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Simply Johntae, Virtual Assistant

I participated in a program called CO.STARTERS which is offered by CO.LAB. The Company Lab is a nonprofit startup accelerator that supports entrepreneurial growth. Throughout the nine - week course you learn step by step how to get your business off the ground. 

The idea that I turned into a business. It is a Virtual Assistant Business for entrepreneurs, creatives or really just anyone who has a need for Administrative Assistant and Event Logistics services. 

The services that I provide include but are not limited to general administrative assignments, social media management, and event planning support. The work is generally done in my home office but I also have the flexibility to provide on site services if the client has a need. 

This business has provided me with more flexibility, happiness and fulfillment than I ever could have imagined. 

If you or someone you knows needs an assistant, please reach out through either my contact form on my blog or by emailing simplyjohntae@gmail.com

Simply Johntae , Virtual Assistant 

OTRII - From My Point of View!

Last night I attended Jay Z and Beyoncé OTRII.  They opened with Holy Grail. Let me remind you of the opening lyrics. 

You'd take the clothes off my back, and I'd let you

You'd steal the food right out my mouth

And I'd watch you eat it, I still don't know why

Why I love you so much, oh

You curse my name

In spite, to put me to shame

Hang my laundry in the streets

Dirty or clean

Give it up for fame

But I still don't know why (don't know why)

Why I love it so much, yeah

And baby

It's amazing I'm in this maze with you

I just can't crack your code

One day you're screaming you love me loud

The next day you're so cold

One day you're here, one day you're there

One day you care, you're so unfair

Sipping from your cup 'til it runneth over, Holy Grail

Now, take what you want from that but immediately I started to think about relationships. Maybe because Beyoncé was singing the hook and not Justin Timberlake so I totally took this somewhere else but as I sat back listening I was shook because quite honestly, it addressed some of the same feelings that we often feel in relationships whether romantic, platonic or familial. The lyrics are moody and highly exaggerated but I felt it. 

Beyond that, The Dynamic Duo picked perfect songs from there. Through out the entire show, you rarely heard them shouting their own names but instead they were hyping up one another. All the while, no matter how stellar her performance The Queen B allowed her Husband to lead. 

They told a story of love, forgiveness, respect, growth, empowerment  and so many other powerful lessons in between. When she walked down stage and performed “ Resentment “, I could feel the emotion in her voice and every lyric stung like a bee (pun intended). 

Jay - Z took us down memory lane with some of his throwback cuts, then did an amazing performance of “ Still Nigga “ towards the end of his set. I can’t leave out that together they performed “Black Effect “ both tracks acting as not so gentle reminders to the crowd that Black Lives Still Matter. 

These two picked up somewhat of a bad rap when word got out that he had an affair and she stayed. But maybe rather than talking bad about them and scanning and dissecting their lives that we will only ever know minimal about we should learn a thing or two from what they do openly share.  Jay - Z is human and I believe his marriage to Beyoncé was truly an “ Upgrade “ for him.  On the flip, Beyonce chose to exemplify grace and forgiveness over revenge or giving up which is admirable. Some say she’s staying for the money but her bag is pretty secure at this point so, I doubt it. 

Despite what anyone may say, they are a great  example of relationship goals. 

Hello Thirty Three!

Let me preface by warning you all that this post will be short, sweet and to the point! No fluff!

I can honestly say without even flinching that I didn’t ( DID NOT ) accomplish all of my “big time goals” that I set for chapter 32. 

Life threw me a ton of curveballs over the past year and although, initially I felt like I didn’t do anything I wanted to do for “ me “ , I’ve quickly learned through the help of my life coach ( that may or may not know she’s my life coach ) that my goal really was to serve my family, in our season of transition and all that chapter 32 has brought is grooming me for another , greater season. I’ll  never get this time back and it was more “for me “ than I ever thought! ( Thanks for helping me express and understand this so eloquently Erika ) 

It’s safe to say that although it didn’t go as “ planned “ chapter 32 don’t owe me shit! ( sorry- not sorry that was so vulgar ) ! 

So, here’s to chapter 33 which will bring even more transition. Stay tuned for me to hit a new city running! And I’ll also be introducing another piece of my heart that most may be aware of but, haven’t had the chance to formally meet! 

I have a lot of great ideas and I’m looking forward to executing while at the same time remembering that I’m working on God’s timing not my own! 

Please see the quote below! It’s kinda choppy but, it helped me and it may help you too! 

Simply Johntae 

“ Why is a woman more likely to wait on many than to wait on herself? We TOO have goals, dreams, we have a LIFE TOO. Yet we spend years waiting on everyone else. When it comes time to WAITING on ourselves to get that degree, to shed the spiritual baggage, the excess physical weight, to fashion that business, etc, we're impatient...aren't we worth the wait as well? Be patient with the process, be gentle with your growth. Learn to wait on YOU. “ - Unknown

" Getting Over " Death and Everything in Between

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I have a love hate relationship with  Facebook memories. They seem orchestrated to remind you of the memories that aren't so great and even if the memory for the day is a good one, often times I find myself wondering what the hell have I been doing for the year or even several that have passed.

Well, I am glad to report that a memory came up today and I cried tears of joy. Here it goes:

" I have been dreading this month all year! 7 days from today, I found my grandfather unresponsive and there was nothing I could do for him. I ask that you all keep me and MY thoughts in YOUR prayers. I carry so much guilt, and hurt around since then and it's feels enhanced the closer the date gets! 🙏 Always remember, you DON'T know ME, you know my FB!"

Some may wonder how something so seemingly sad would bring me even an ounce of joy so, allow me to explain.

Nearly three years ago, I showed up to take my grandfather to the hospital because he was not feeling well the night before. When I arrived, rather than going into panic mode I chose to be heroic and set my emotions and fear of death to the side and help my grandfather fight for his life. I cleared space for the paramedics being as though I was thinking logically enough to immediately call 911. I had never performed CPR on a dummy, let alone a human which might I mention is no easy feat. But, I remained calm  enough to take instructions from the dispatcher and perform to the best of my ability under the circumstances.

Once he was stabilized, I made some calls and sent some text messages to a few family members and close friends. When I reached out to my Mother, it was a natural instinct for me to protect her so I was very selective with what I shared about his condition. I didn't want to alarm her, especially not over the phone. From there, I got in my car to meet the ambulance at the hospital following all of the rules of the road.

When all of the family arrived and things took a turn, as a family we came together and decided that it was time to let Papa go to Glory! We prayed, we sang, and did everything that our Baptist upbringing instilled in us.

Now, compare the initial memory to the story that I just told. I'm learning that in life we have choices. To be constantly self victimized or to paint yourself strong and heroic. It's all in how you perceive the situation. Now, this isn't to dismiss anyone who is grieving and dealing with adversities in their own way but a testimony  to what I am doing to improve my quality of life. I still have bad days or low times but I am consciously working on being bigger and better.  There's a saying that goes, " Some people don't want to be fixed because being broken gets them attention " and I found that I was using my pessimistic, my grandfather died and all men are dogs stories as a way to pardon me from my responsibility to live abundantly.

So, let's make a pact to work consciously on dumping our resentment towards the cards life deal us and start beating our own hand!

P.S. You still don't KNOW me, yet!

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Happy Birthday to Me!

I feel like my story in life has only just begun! The first 31 years of my life have been an absolute roller coaster! Full of ups and downs, highs and lows! For every setback that I have encountered over the years, I have followed up with a triumph that makes any struggle  I have dealt with worth every bit of pain and heartbreak. Am I going into 32 without any challenges? HELL NO! But, I am embracing everything like the FEARLESS woman that I have learned to be.

I have made connections over this last year that have forced me to mature in many ways. Being gifted with a handful of people who love me unconditionally  has been amazing. I am working on nurturing relationships that genuinely deserved a second look and I am welcoming with open arms new people who I have crossed paths with and are now here to stay! 😊 I have learned that tightening up your inner circle is one of the best things that you can do as a woman. 

I read something the other day that said " Your Network = Your Net Worth "  and it rang so true. 

Net worth in my opinion is not only monetary. Success is not just comprised of having a great career or how much money you make but about how happy and fulfilled your heart is! I've chosen over of the years to remain patient and wait on my blessings and just like clock work, God delivered. In His time, not my own. 

So, I will continue to work on keeping my heart pure and not compromising who I am just because other people are $hitty!  And I will work on forgiving those who still occupy a little piece of my mind space. 

I wanna say cheers to another year of Living, Learning and Loving! I am confident that 32 will be one of the most amazing years of my life, going through it with amazing people! 

Students For Peace

I woke up this morning, grumpy which is typical for me! Stumbled all around, trying to get myself ready to head out of the door for work. I went in, with other personal issues but attempted to continue on with my day. Rather than stay at work, I excused myself.

When I got to the car, I received a text message from my son that read : " So, there's a walk out protest today against hate and bigotry, but I could get a zero on my assignments in 3rd period " . I was stunned! My first thought was, this can't be happening. We went back and fourth and discussed the consequences and repercussions of a walk out. We also discussed the  the importance of following ones heart and standing up for your beliefs.

No surprise to me, my son decided to participate in the walk out. I started getting nervous at that point, and when presented with the San Diego truancy laws decided that it would be best for me to accompany him. Not only to ensure that he wasn't prosecuted for breaking loitering laws but, to support and protect my baby boy!

I was so proud when I arrived! The turn out was amazing. There were so many people out there. Young, old, black, brown, white, tall short, you name it. There was a woman walking down the street who just bursted into tears, and the tears started falling for me as well. She was full of emotion. We hugged and she said "it'll be ok " .

These kids readily did what myself, as Black Woman has never done. Protested for their rights! It was extremely liberating to be an active part of the protest and my views on protests have changed, starting today. The San Diego Union Tribune wrote up an amazing article describing the purpose of the protest.

This isn't about " Trump". This is about PEACE and unity. I get updates from a close friend of mine regularly who's teenage children are seeing a lot of their high school friends killed by gun violence. We see police brutality happening regularly. We see inequality in the work place. It goes further than the President Elect.

Will this one protest change what's happening in society? No way! But, it will raise awareness.

I want to publicly acknowledge my son, Nicolas for being a respectable, intellectual, young black man in an ever changing world. Never compromise who you are as a person. You make me proud daily!

Simply,

A Young Black Mom

Passport Awareness Month

To celebrate passport awareness month, I had to get my hands on this CUTESY  Soft Pink Passport Case from Style Shoppe by Ariana Pierce ! This case color is one of three upgraded cases ( Pinky Pink and Yellow are the others ) that they are offering which include the RFID feature. RFID prevents your information from being scanned electronically by new aged pick pocketing thieves. What I also love about this book is, it gives you interior pockets to carry cash and other cards in one wallet.

Now, don't postpone applying for your passport even if you have yet to fully delve in to international travel, or if you are like me and are a Cruise Queen ( where a passport isn't required ). You never know when an opportunity may present itself to travel internationally and you'll be unprepared, scrambling around paying un necessary expedited fees for processing. It's also a pretty cool basic identification tool. You can use it for domestic travel or even as a second form of ID. Passports are valid for ten years so make it a goal to get one if you don't have one or if you have one, use it more often.

Below, I will add a few tips to keep in mind if you are considering getting a new passport that I am copying straight from the Department of State Website  . And, be sure to looking into this passport case if you want to be traveling in style! 

Here are the top five reasons passport photos are rejected:

• Glare on glasses – Glasses should be removed for a photo.
• Photo is too light or too dark – Photo must be clear to reflect true skin tone.
• Old photo – Photo must have been taken within six months of submitting a passport application.
• Improper head size – Photo taken too close or too far away will be rejected.
• Low quality image or paper – Photo is blurry, grainy, pixelated, or printed on the wrong paper. Photos should be high resolution.

Here are the fees and form numbers: 

Passport Book	DS-11	$110	$25
Passport Card	DS-11	$30	$25
Passport Book & Card	DS-11	$140	$25